I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Randomize