remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize