I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize