That's intense
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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