I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Two words: nipple clamps
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