You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
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The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
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Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
pray to the hookup gods
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize