Quick, to the slutcave!
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
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I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
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Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
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