I accidentally had phone sex last night
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
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