Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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