ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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