i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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