Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
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