dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
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you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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