The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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