That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize