my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize