We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
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Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
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Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
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