i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
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and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
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I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
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