Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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