I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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