just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
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