Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize