How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
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