So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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