I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
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We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
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