I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
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