Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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