Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Its about making memories worth repressing
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize