It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
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