sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
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