"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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