You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize