Don't you send me to vm
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
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I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
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They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
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