Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
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