I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
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