six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize