he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize