so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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