Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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