So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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