so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
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You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
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You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Randomize