We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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