she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
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