Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
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