when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
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There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
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They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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