How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
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