I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
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