i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
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