would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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