I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
I have fence marks all over my body
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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